I’m thrilled to present to you my greatest journalistic coup yet: the world’s first interview with SARS-CoV-2-XUV-700 This is not just any coronavirus however the Chairvirus of the infection neighborhood’s COVID-19 Job Force. I must tape-record here my thankfulness to Potangoli Pvt Ltd for sharing with me a special bio-genetic software application that enabled me to bypass the interaction barrier between people and viruses and conduct this historical interview. Edited excerpts:
Me: Thank you Mr. should I address you as Mister or Ms or.?
Virus: The infection community is stringently opposed to any form of discrimination or recognition based on gender, sexual orientation or heteronormativity. We are totally LGBTQIA-plus-plus-compliant. Nevertheless, to keep things easy, you may call me Shrimati SARS-CoV-2-XUV-700- ji.
But if that causes symptoms of breathlessness, say ‘Corona Madam’.
Me: Corona Madam, let me start with a personal question. In the excellent old days, viruses had such exotic names– Chikungunya infection, Chandipura infection, Uukuniemi infection, West Nile virus. I mean, who wouldn’t want to meet the West Nile virus? Or get a taste of Tuscany from the Toscana virus? However nowadays you have actually gone totally alphanumeric! It’s all HIV, HAV, H1N1, SARS-CoV-2. You have 10 beautiful species of rotaviruses. However their names? They are called A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J. Why?
Infection: We infections have actually long grown out of the primitive human proclivity for names loaded with significance. Some human socie