Living with migraine is a regular exercise in self-compassion. Sometimes you have to adjust your schedule or cancel plans when a migraine attack strikes. When you’re a parent, it may feel nearly impossible to do that. Instead, you’re expected to care for a little person when you feel like someone is repeatedly smacking you in the face with a hammer.
But you have to take care of you—even if that comes with a serious serving of guilt. “Parents often place the needs of their children above their own needs,” Heather McGinty, PhD, psychologist and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral health at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, tells SELF. “Many parents have limited support for childcare, so taking time for themselves may feel like something is not going to get done for their family, which can be a source of guilt that pushes people to ignore their own care needs at times.” And, when an illness is chronic, it’s easy to feel helpless when it comes to not being able to be there for your child, she says.
But the truth is, paying attention to your own needs will make you a better caregiver. “If you continue to overextend yourself while you’re in pain, you could feel worse and ultimately be less available for your child,” Thea Gallagher, PsyD, clinical assistant professor of psychology at NYU Langone Health and co-host of the Mind in View podcast, tells SELF.
If you regularly struggle with migraine pain, it’s important to talk to your doctor to see if there’s a better, more effective treatment