Day 636 of the major intrusion. Kyiv, your home of Cinema, the location for numerous bests of movies that have actually ended up being classics. I am on the phase in front of a jam-packed home. Today’s expense includes the rock artist Anton Slepakov, who together with artist Andrii Sokolov has actually been keeping a poetic journal of the intrusion. Now, they’re providing a full-length recording of the album and have actually welcomed good friends to share the phase with them.
Oleksandr Serdyuk, likewise called Koulman, is among them. Comic, director, creative director of the Horobchyk (“Sparrow”) Theatre of the Absurd– and now an expert auctioneer. In 2023, Koulman performed more than 150 auctions. Because the intrusion, there has actually been an charity auction at every performance, program or cultural occasion to raise cash for our militaries.
Koulman carries out the auction with the humour of a male who has actually not felt anything for a very long time. He is holding a red sweatshirt. “What am I bid for this sweatshirt?” asks Koulman. “It endured the shelling of a townhouse in Hostomel, near Kyiv. It is stated to be among the couple of things that endured because home. The beginning quote …”
I have an anxiety attack, I can’t concentrate on his words. I understand the history of this sweatshirt all too well.
A couple of weeks later on, manoeuvring in between the breaks in Koulman’s efficiency schedule, we satisfy in Kyiv to speak about charity auctions and the methods which artists are attempting to support the Ukrainian defence force.
2 days into the intrusion, Koulman discovered himself in western Ukraine. Not having any basic training, he stated to himself: “The war has actually been going on for 8 years. And for 8 years, I have not offered. Now I need to capture up. And I will do it for a minimum of 8 years.”
Koulman went to the city board, to the workplace for humanitarian help for displaced individuals. What is required, he asked. Whatever, they stated. They offered him a list and he invested half the cash he had– about $300.
Next he headed to the workplace for humanitarian help for the military and asked the very same concern. They too stated they required whatever, and offered him a list. He invested the rest of his money, then started to obtain cash to cover the immediate requirements of both companies.
When the cash was all gone and the financial obligation growing, he published a report on the purchases made that day. In action, he got remarks: “Give me the account number, we will support you.” Therefore every day from 9am to 6pm, he satisfied the demands of the military and of the countless displaced individuals. Which was the happiest time– clear demands and jobs, no unneeded ideas or doubts.
In December 2022, Koulman was welcomed to run a charity auction at a performance by the rock band Zhadan i Sobaky (“Zhadan and the Dogs”), fronted by the cult Ukrainian poet Serhiy Zhadan. The auction went extremely well, and he was welcomed to sign up with the trip. At the time of our conference, Koulman had actually held 77 auctions throughout Zhadan i Sobaky performances. At the exact same time, a swimming pool of other artists and bands had actually started to form, all of whom desired Koulman to host their auctions.
As time endured he established auctioning techniques. A T-shirt with the signature of the previous commander-in-chief of the Ukrainian armed forces, Valerii Zaluzhnyi, is being auctioned. The stakes escalate– 10,000 hryvnias ($250), 30,000, 40,000. Just 2 bidders stay. The last quote is 50,000 hryvnias ($1,300). At the last minute, Koulman secures a 2nd similar T-shirt and asks whether both individuals will be comfy if the winner gets the T-shirt for 50,000 hryvnias, and the second-placed bidder gets their’s for 48,000. Obviously, both “finalists” enjoy, and Koulman has 98,000 hryvnias ($2,500) for the militaries.
Often, somebody wins an auction and states that it is more vital to make a contribution than to get the lot itself. At one show, Koulman can offer the very same image or disc numerous times.
At the start of the auctions, the lots with a military style succeeded– shot tubes from Manpads (surface-to-air rockets) or Nlaws (anti-tank weapons), later on– caught uniforms, dry provisions, Russian occupiers’ helmets. Koulman states that every self-respecting Ukrainian household now has a charity-auctioned Manpad tube in their home.
Now items and experiences related to our preferred artists offer best at auctions. Serhiy Zhadan’s individual valuables are being auctioned. It might be the knapsack with which he took a trip to the Ukrainian advanced Nestor Makhno’s homeland in Huliaipole. Or the shoes of a female character in a Zhadan and the Dogs video. Obviously, Koulman offered them independently– the left shoe was cost 10,000 hryvnias and the best one for another 5,000.
Other products can barely be called “things”. A chance to contribute a poem, which Zhadan will recite over the phone. And Koulman has actually seen how individuals get such calls, not able to include their feelings. The only “expenditure” is the poet’s time, however this task alone has actually raised about 400,000 hryvnias ($10,400) for charity.
Koulman takes pleasure in producing speculative lots with the band Latexfauna. Among their most popular tunes is called Lime. Koulman offered a lime (cost 8 hryvnias, $0.20) for 18,000 hryvnias ($465) as a chance to consume this lime together with the band after the gig.
On another celebration, the Latexfauna guitar player informed Koulman a disastrously unfunny joke before a program. Koulman recommended him to never ever inform it to anybody once again. That very same night, throughout the auction, he unexpectedly kept in mind the joke and informed the audience: “Right now the guitar player will whisper in your ear an unfunny joke that was evaluated on me. Beginning cost is 1,000 hryvnias.” In a 2nd, the bidding skyrocketed to 3,000 hryvnias, and unexpectedly a voice from the crowd with confidence stated: “30,000 hryvnias.” Koulman asked if this was a joke. The voice responded that whatever was major. “Sold!” The guitar player came on phase; the auction winner came near him, listened to the joke, and chuckled.
The genuine experimentation started at an auction throughout the rock celebration Faine Misto (“Cool City”) in Lviv in summer season 2023. Koulman offered the C note played by the guitar player with a popular band. He offered the chance to smoke a dismal cigarette with the rap star Palindrom after the program (3 individuals each paid 40,000 hryvnias, $1,000, for this). He offered the opportunity to shave the moustache of the diva of his cherished Latexfauna. The winner paid 40,000 hryvnias. Koulman didn’t stop there and offered the chance to enjoy for 30,000 hryvnias.
Koulman’s newest concept is to do a concert-auction where the audience votes with their contributions for the tunes to be played next. His most effective auctions have actually raised in between 350,000 hryvnias ($9,000) and 460,000 hryvnias ($12,000) in a night.
Koulman declines to star in home entertainment material for YouTube. What would I inform them, he asks. About Bakhmut or the scenario in Avdiivka? He can no longer joke, with one exception– when he is auctioning. His humour is a tool for an effective occasion. The most crucial thing is gathering cash for the militaries, and the show is simply a benefit.
I ask him what he thinks of fundraising. For him, there is an unfavorable side: in addition to gathering cash and interacting with army systems, you should be innovative. You need to make individuals laugh, work together with stars in order to break the social networks algorithms. Koulman states it is ending up being significantly hard to satisfy audience expectations.
He wants to visit the United States and Canada with Latexfauna this year. He will perform effective auctions. He will assist protectors. And it still will not suffice.
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Ten years into the war, approaching the 2nd anniversary of the major intrusion, reporters once again ask me how the lives of Ukrainians and my household have actually altered. I state this is a war of damage and attrition. Russia is aiming to normalise the war in Ukraine, so that a dreadful rocket attack will simply be called “another one” and it will no longer be news to anybody.
Just put– we are living the regimen of a headache. Daily, shelling ruins our civilian facilities and homes. The shelling is regular and systematic. It is so enormous that each time it occurs, among my good friends informs me that their traditional or previous home has actually been struck.
I inform them that on Valentine’s Day, Russia struck the town of Selydove. Russian propaganda declared that numerous Ukrainian soldiers had actually been eliminated. They fired at 9 home structures and a healthcare facility. 3 individuals were eliminated; 13 were hurt, consisting of 4 kids.
I still can’t determine a couple of things. Why exist still locations where sanctions have not reached? Why is it that after the statement of the “most difficult bundle” there are constantly chances for even harder sanctions? Why does the world continue to listen to Vladimir Putin?
I am speaking about my brave buddies who have actually been eliminated by Russians.
I am speaking about Koulman, who has actually discovered his function and remains in the 2nd year of his eight-year offering journey.
I am speaking about my moms and dads, 70-year-old teachers of literature who invested practically 3 weeks under profession in Bucha. I am speaking about your house where my better half Olena and I resided in Hostomel, which was damaged by a Russian shell in the very first week of the intrusion. About 100 neighbours made it through the Russian profession in our property complex. 5 were eliminated.
I’m speaking about a red sweatshirt, from a previous life, before the intrusion. A sweatshirt with a lot of memories. A merch sweatshirt from a band Olena and I enjoyed a lot– our buddy Anton Slepakov’s previous band– that we went to each of their performances in Kyiv. A sweatshirt that endured the shelling of our home and to which Anton later on devoted a track. Had actually the makers understood, his words went, they might have made the red sweatshirt fireproof so that it would act as a bulletproof vest, and “retaliate for all the losses”.
An artefact of discomfort and memory that has now end up being a lot at a charity auction.
Koulman offered it for 25,000 hryvnias ($650) that night at your home of Cinema. The overall raised by the program was 200,000 hryvnias ($5,200) in help of the militaries of Ukraine.
And today there is absolutely nothing more crucial.
Equated by Oleksandr Gon
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Oleksandr Mykhed is an author and member of PEN Ukraine. His book Language of War won the George Shevelev reward in December 2023 and will be released by Allen Lane in June 2024
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